Pirates of Middle School
by meowface
Summary: Jack somehow ends up in the 21st century and has to learn to put up with many things like (gasp) middle school! Will Jack survive middle school and will middle school survive him? (New summary!)
1. A pleasent Suprise

Pirates of Middle School Curse of the completely random day with Jack Sparrow ---------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Disclamer: Well just in case you thought we owned Pirates of the Caribbean we don't we don't own Jack or any other characters they are owned by a big company blah blah blah...so on and so fourth but we do own the potc dvd and cd and we have pictures of Jack in our purses and Val has a Johnny Depp signed picture of him on her wall.  
  
Jack: wait.... Did you just say a big moneymaking company owns me?  
  
Us: yeah...  
  
Jack: Does that mean I'm rich?  
  
Us: no...  
  
Jack- NOOOOOOO I will never get true freedom! I say we pillage Disney and burn all of their offices down!  
  
Us: O.o  
  
ON WITH THE STORY Chapter 1: An extremely pleasant surprise  
  
Alyssa and I were watching the Pirates of the Caribbean for the 78 time and we still weren't bored with it. Not that we could ever be bored with staring at Johnny Depp!  
  
We have a slight ok I have to tell the truth...HUMONGOUS obsession with potc...we carry Jack pictures in our wallets we watch potc at least once a week and there is not one second in which we are not listening to the potc CD and I have a signed picture of Jack hung on my wall. We also memorized the whole potc script! Um...we where supposed to write a story for science in which we traveled around the circulatory system and Alyssa and I put Jack in ours!  
  
(Authors note: you can read pirates of the circulatory system and return to the circulatory system because we put them on too! And we really did right it for science...)  
  
Oh no the movie was up to the part where Barbossa stabs Jack. (did I tell you that I can be a little random?) I ran towards the TV and kicked it.  
  
"Whoa I think that was the most random thing you ever did!" Alyssa exclaimed.  
  
"Barbossa deserved it!" I huffed.  
  
"You got to start remembering that they are fictional characters." Alyssa said.   
  
"Jack...Fictional?" I asked.  
  
Alyssa( o.O  
  
"Maybe we should go to back to bed it is 5:00 in the morning and it is a school night and our parents will never trust us with a sleepover again" Alyssa pointed out.  
  
"That might be a good idea..."I thought aloud.  
  
The noise of an alarm clock woke me.  
  
"Garr... must sue school for making me get up at 6:30" I said sleepily.  
  
I sat up and looked down at my floor to see the unconscious body of Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"I screamed.  
  
"WHAT!?!" Alyssa asked groggily but when she saw Jack she screamed too.  
  
"NO Disney inc. please don't sue me I didn't kill Johnny Depp I swear!" I yelled.  
  
"If that's Johnny Depp, why is he wearing his pirate costume?" Alyssa asked.  
  
"I told you Jack was not a fictional character!" I said.  
  
Just then Jack raised his hand,"Gimme another rum bartender I'm still sober." He drawled.  
  
"Jack's so cute when he's unconscious." I said dreamily. Alyssa slapped me.  
  
"You're talking about how cute Jack is when we are in this situation?!?"  
  
Jack's eyes suddenly snapped open, "This isn't the bar." He said. He looked at the wall and upon seeing his picture on the wall he yelled "What the bloody hell?"  
  
"Jack is so cute when he's confused." I said.  
  
Alyssa slapped me again.  
  
"Hmmm... so I'm not the only one who gets slapped." Jack mused. "Where am I?"  
  
"You are in the 21first centaury Jack things are very different" Alyssa answered.  
  
"How do you know my name??????" Jack asked.  
  
"That's another thing... you see you were in a movie, the main character, hmm well you don't know what a movie is do you? I'll explain later." Alyssa explained. Jack( o.O  
  
"Right..............."answered Jack.  
  
I giggled, "He's cuter than I imagined."  
  
Jack( o.O  
  
"How are you gonna get back?" Alyssa pondered.  
  
"OOOOOOO how about we ask the flying cows to help?" I asked.  
  
"Did she have too much rum or somtin'?" Jack stated.  
  
"Sadly no." Alyssa said "Did you say flying cows!?! That's crazy enough to work! Power to the cows! I've got a plan!"  
  
"Wow you guys sorta' remind me of me." Jack stared at us quizzically.  
  
Us(o.O  
  
"We're daft like Jack!" I yelled.  
  
"On with the plan! Savvy?" Alyssa said.  
  
"That's MY catch phrase!" Jack huffed.  
  
"Ok first we gotta get ready for school...STAGE 1 dun dun dun!" Alyssa said completely ignoring Jack.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH the spy music is freaking me out" I responded. "Okay on with the plan!" Alyssa said disregarding me.  
  
Soon we were both ready.  
  
I wore a black hooded sweatshirt with a cat and fire in the background (the logo of our band) and cargo jeans.  
  
(Author's note: Yes we are both in a band called Fire Ctz Val=drummer Alyssa=Keyboard)  
  
Alyssa had on a blue shirt with penguins on it and jeans.  
  
"Val lemme see your backpack." Alyssa demanded.  
  
I grudgingly handed it over.  
  
"A CD player the potc CD, percussion band music to Pirates of the Caribbean, how did you get that anyway we didn't even play it in band!!!, your sketchbook, the manuscript of your new story...where is the school work?" Alyssa asked.  
  
"I knew I forgot something!" I exclaimed running to my room to get my binders and notebooks.  
  
Alyssa rolled her eyes.  
  
"Interesting, very interesting. Are you sure she's not related to me?" Jack asked.  
  
"Ok I got my school stuff!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Ok stage 2, follow me!" Alyssa said. Alyssa whispered the plan in my ear.  
  
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo... good plan!" I yelled.  
  
We walked into the kitchen, where my mom was cooking breakfast.  
  
"Mom uh..um... did you see the flying cow outside?" I asked nervously, though I was quite used to these outlandish schemes.  
  
"What?" my mom was in the middle of saying but upon seeing Jack she stopped. "Not another crazy dream where cows fly and Jack Sparrow is at my daughter's sleepover." She muttered to herself.  
  
"Phase 2 complete." Alyssa whispered.  
  
Alyssa handed Jack a backpack which she had gotten ready for him while I was restocking my backpack. I saw Jack's hand reach in from his large coat and deposit a bottle of rum in his backpack. He flashed a small drunken smile at me and winked. I new I should've told Alyssa about it but there is something about Jack that makes people do whatever he says, seriously it's like mind control.  
  
"Phase 3: Forgery." Alyssa said, "We need a counterfeit note from the school board. Val your handwriting is horrible" I glared at her. "and mine is to easy to recognize. Jack do you know how to write?"  
  
"What do you take me for, stupid?" Jack asked.  
  
"Uh do you want us to answer that question?" Alyssa answered.  
  
Jack groaned.  
  
"How do you think I became captain of the black pearl then? Yes of course I can write." He snapped back at us.  
  
In not very long we had a pretty believable letter, ok maybe not that believable but it would work for now,  
  
Dear Principle of this fine blue ribbon school of excellence, I have created a test to prove if you are worthy of keeping your title of blue ribbon school. I have sent a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, to come to your school. I want to see if you staff can act as if this is normal and treat him as they would another student. If you achieve this then you will be able to keep your title as blue ribbon school, how ever if you do not your title will be taken away.  
  
With best regards, Superintendent of schools  
  
OK I admit it wasn't that believable but it was all we had and I had a feeling it was going to turn out ok. I gulped as we rounded the bend and the huge middle school came into view. 


	2. I'm not Johnny Depp!

Disclaimer- I do no own Jack Sparrow  
  
Jack- Stares at us impatiently cough  
  
Val- erm...um...I KNOW!!!!!!!! CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow Jack- smart one aren't ye, love rolls eyes  
  
Val- at least I made it to Middle School  
  
Jack- long division's hard! I had good reason to drop out!  
  
Val-Yeah right...  
  
Alyssa- erm.. hard yep......coughstupidcough  
  
Authors' note- Chapter 2 YAY and lots more chapters to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY I want to thank ALL my reviewers, um which at the moment are 3.... I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
ALSO IMPORTANT: Every one in this fanfiction is a real person! YES! The school is a real school! It may seem unbelievable but it is true!!!!!!!!!! But I might use different names so my teachers don't kill me! But some may be their real names! And for some I won't use names at all!  
  
Chapter 2: I'M NOT JOHNNY DEPP  
  
Soon we found our selves in the main office. "Um... this is a letter for the principal from the superintendent of schools." I said nervously.  
  
The secretary totally disregarded me, "Who's he?" She asked pointing to Jack,"I won't allow any unauthorized people in this school, 'specially not hoboes."  
  
Jack glared at her, "I'm no hobo I be the Captain of the ship THE-", he started to say but Alyssa cut him off,  
  
"Uh, that's what the letter's about!" Alyssa replied.  
  
"Humph... lemme see this so called letter." Without asking she snatched the letter out of my hand. Her eyes skimmed the letter, "Uhhuh, hmmm. Humph, erm..." she grunted,"Why should I believe THIS, wait did you say superintendent of schools?"  
  
"YEAH.............................." we replied in unison.  
  
She took out a visitors pass and scribbled Jack Sparrow on it; then she wrote a quick note and ran to a door labeled PRINCIPAL. We had never actually ever seen our principal sometimes we wondered if there even really was one.  
  
Suddenly the door opened and the secretary ran out and grabbed the intercom  
  
"ATTENTON!!!!!!! This is not a drill! If you see a pirate by the name of Jack Sparrow-"  
  
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow" Jack butted in.  
  
"It is a test by the superintendent, he want everyone to act like the pirate is a normal student! So EVERYONE treat him like he is a normal student! This means chastise him if necessary! And make sure he does his work AND-", The secretary was cut off when another of the many secretaries grabbed the intercom.  
  
"Um, can we have like a hall pass or late pass or something?" I asked.  
  
"Whaddya mean? You still have like 45 second!" The secretary answered.  
  
"Well, since it's against school rules to have back packs we have to go to our locker to drop them off then we need to go to homeroom so we will need more than 45 seconds...." Alyssa replied.  
  
"Why would I care? By the way you now have 31 seconds, ok goodbye!" She said with a fake sweet tone. We glanced at each other and ran down the hallway as fast as we could with Jack trying to follow us as we darted around the halls. Alyssa ran up to the upper D wing and Jack followed me to the lower D wing and ended up sharing my locker. We stuffed everything inside the locker as fast as we could and Jack followed me to the lower E wing where my homeroom was.  
  
"You are SO lucky our teacher decided not to show up for homeroom...again!" Amy called as Jack and I walked into the room. I noticed Amy had a birthday sign on for thousandth time this year and was holding lots of candies and gifts, the sad thing is that her Birthday was in November and it was currently May; she did this pretty much everyday, well she didn't actually do it her friends did. I also noticed that all the girls were staring in my direction and that Jack now was clutching my shoulder, rather hardly, in fear.  
  
"JOHNNY DEPP?!?" All the girls screamed. Jack looked utterly confused.  
  
"No love, erm...loves, Captain Jack Sparrow." He said nervously. The boys in the class stared at their girlfriends giving them warning looks. One started cracking his knuckles, and we all got the point. Everyone talked to each other, all of the girls that is. But you could find the boys on top of desks throwing footballs to each other.  
  
Suddenly a classmate who was the lookout for the moment yelled "TEACHERS!" We all became quiet and we saw a boy and a girl teacher hovering outside the door chatting. They paid no heed to our classroom as we soon discovered they were, well erm, flirting.  
  
"8:03" Someone yelled and in a flash we were all out of the room; leaving the two teachers staring in confusion into the classroom waiting for the teacher to come out.  
  
Like oh my god there was like no teacher!" the girl teacher screamed.  
  
Soon we found ourselves in gym  
  
"Uhhh Jack I don't think you can be in my gym class considering it is a girls gym class and you are in fact a boy..." I said.  
  
"Right you are love!" He gave one of his toothy gold and white smiles and I pointed to the boys gym teacher. But before he got there he was again bombarded by a bunch of girls screaming for him to sign autographs. Then they started to hug him.  
  
Jack- O...o  
  
"He's SOOOOOOOOOOO hot!!!!!! Awwwwwwwwwww!"  
  
"Hi Johnny...oooooooooo I love that name!!!"  
  
"Ermm... sorry love but me name's Jack." He smiled weakly.  
  
"Oooooo now he's pretending to be totally bewildered, how cute!"  
  
"I'm not pretendin' I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!" he replied.  
  
That made them hug him even more!  
  
"I 'ppreciate your fervor, but it would help if I could breath...." Jack choked.  
  
"Ok everyone COME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gym teacher #1 yelled. "we're gonna do 3 laps 'round the track outside!"  
  
"Well we're doin' 5 laps!" Said gym teacher #2  
  
"OK 10 laps then!" gym teacher #1 screamed  
  
"20!"  
  
"Um that's more than the high school track team..." I said faintly.  
  
"That's the point..." gym teacher #1 said, staring at me.  
  
Yay another chapter!!!!!!!!!!!! More reviews=more chapters, savvy?  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! EVEN IF YOU HAVE BEFORE, REAVIEW AGAIN!! 


	3. ooo a prettifull cockroach!

Disclaimer- We're absolutely sure that we need this disclaimer because we know for a fact that you think that we own pirates of the Caribbean and all of the characters in it...and I would be worried if you didn't notice the sarcasm there.  
  
Authors note- I thank you all for reviewing!!!!!!! We are really sorry that it has taken weeks to post this chapter. Actually I Val have been the only one writing this story. glares at Alyssa Hey I just thought of something..... THAT MEANS JACK AND I ARE HERE ALONE!  
  
Jack- gulp now don't get any ideas love  
  
Me- runs up to Jack and kisses him  
  
Jack- O.O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Me- MUA HA HA HA  
  
Jack- hides under the refrigerator  
  
Me- that's interesting....I didn't know you could fit under there.......  
  
NOW ................. The STORY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 3- ooo a prettifull cockroach!  
  
Soon Jack and I were panting heavily and walking towards my next class, history.  
  
"Just to warn you, my history teacher can be a little, how should I put this....dry." I said.  
  
"Tha's ok right now I have no objections to bein' somewhere where I can take a rest, actually borin' sounds pretty good ta me." Jack answered. But as fate had it my history teacher wasn't there......(really I think teachers should be more responsible, I mean two teachers not showing up in one day? And this was only the beginning of the day!!!!)  
  
"Poor children, I guess maybe I should be your substitute teacher!" exclaimed a random substitute teacher dude.  
  
"BOO!!!!!!!" Yelled my third period "gifted" class. (Yes homeroom is considered a period in my school.) The people in the class were the same ones in pretty much all my classes except 1st 2nd 5th 6th and 7th periods out of the 10 period day. Suddenly people started throwing crumpled up pieces of paper at the substitute.  
  
"YAY violence!!!!!!!" Alyssa yelled above the shouts of loser, idiot, and many other words that would not be allowed in a fanfiction of this rating. Jack and I ran over to her.  
  
"I'll get the flamethrower and Val how about you use Jack sword and Jack can use his pistol, and we'll come around the subs' back and catch him off guard!" Alyssa grinned evilly.  
  
"Don't you think your being a little overactive, I mean shouldn't we save our strength to kill the people from the academy awards who gave Sean Penn that oscar instead of Johnny Depp?" I answered.  
  
"I guess you're right.' Alyssa responded gloomily.  
  
"Awww cheer up we can still throw textbooks at him!" Alyssa lightened up quite a bit at this information. But before we could pick up a textbook the teacher was gone.  
  
"Where'd he go????" John asked. "That was almost as fun as the time I lit the bunny rabbit on fire!"  
  
"FIRE!" Yelled Alyssa.  
  
"Torturing bunny rabbits!" I screamed.  
  
"I did it while I was in Connecticut!" He said. "I never get to go to any warm places, while everyone else is in Florida I'm stuck in Maine or something."  
  
"But he has been to hell once..." Declan added.  
  
"How do you know so much about me?" John inquired.  
  
Suddenly the substitute teacher came back in this time a man who seemed to be in his late 30's to early 40's was with him. He was shorter than Jack and had black spiked hair. He walked a bit like Jack with that swagger. The whole classroom erupted in cheers and people gave standing ovations.  
  
"Here, happy now? I thought maybe that some disturbed children would want a disturbed teacher so here you go Mr......" the subsitute said.  
  
"T Mr. T" the teacher with the spiky hair replied.  
  
"How do you spell that?"  
  
"T-e-e-e"  
  
"No what's your real name?"  
  
"It's Austrian, no one can pronounce it...not even me..." Mr. T grinned.  
  
"Al-righty then.... I'll just leave now and let you losers erm...I mean students learn and teacher...um teach..." the sub quickly ran out the door obviously scared out of his wits at the demented class.  
  
"ok what are we learning?" Mr. T asked.  
  
"Well we're learning about the eastern hemisphere this year and right now we're up the early 1700's." Megan informed handing him a textbook. Mr. T threw the textbook across the room and stared at it with a loathing expression.  
  
"What are they tryin' to do? Kill you from boredom??????" Mr. T inquired. "I know, how about YOU tell us some stories? You're a pirate!" Mr. T pointed at Jack.  
  
"He's, like, not a pirate. He's Johnny depp with a concussion! I hate Johnny Depp..."Amy said.  
  
"GRRRRRRRRR NEVER EVER SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT JOHNNY DEPP!!!! Now you will be punished! Giant goats will fall from the heavens!" I roared. I couldn't understand why it didn't start raining goats afer my last comment... Johnny Depp IS a supreme being after all.  
  
"Johnny Depp is a loser..." one of Amy's friends spat back at me.  
  
"Good thing I'm not Johnny Depp, eh?" Jack smirked.  
  
"Just let him tell the story!" Amanda yelled. After that everyone quieted down because Amanda was a poet who didn't yell much because of usually having her head stuck in a book of poetry. Amanda was the only one worthy of being in gifted so everyone was therefore stunned by her yelling.  
  
"Now that that's settled, start talking!" Mr. T. encouraged. And so started Jack's telling of the tales of the Black Pearl. Lot's of them had things not appropriate for school, but no one noticed for two reasons, one being the stories were so exciting and the other being that they themselves had said worse things.  
  
After history it was time for science, it was then Jack noticed the worse things said mentioned above.  
  
"Children aren't suppose ta know those words. They sound like scallywags!" Jack exclaimed, 'What kinda school is this?"  
  
I chuckled, "Only the blue-ribbon school of New York!"  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
YAY another chapter completed! Oh yes John did burn a bunny, Mr. T is a substitute teacher, Amanda is a published poet, Amy is that obnoxious, and it is a blue ribbon school!  
  
Also REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stress that enough.... 


	4. Let's Have a Sing Along!

Disclamer- Jack is MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jack- erm......... are you sure?  
  
Us- ............. OK I confess it was my intention to kidnap Johnny Depp and-  
  
Jack- O.o I'm not even gonna ask....  
  
Us-....OK OK we don't own POTC but the plot is ours!!! And Jack is in the plot so therefore he is ours!!!!  
  
Fanfiction.net people- Sorry that's not how it works.  
  
Us- crying  
  
Authors note- OH MY GOSH! Thank you soooo much for the reviews, ALL OF YOU!! I can't thank you enough!!!! I will have individual responses to reviews at the end of this chapter! Sorry I haven't updated (again) in a while but I have finals.  
  
Chapter 4- Let's have a sing along!  
  
As soon as Alyssa, Jack and I stepped into the science room my science teacher started to reprimand us, "You're late...AGAIN!!!"  
  
"Um we're 2 minutes early..." Alyssa replied, glancing up at the clock.  
  
"Well you are the last ones in the classroom which means you're late!" she scolded.  
  
"Well it's kinda hard to be early when there's a certain pirate captain who seems to be mystified by a water fountain which led to having to explain to him about other "amazing" inventions of the 21st centaury..." I tried to explain.  
  
"Jack Sparrow...wait is this the one you wrote about in your circulatory system essay?" the science teacher suddenly forgot about our chastisement.  
  
"Yeah..." I answered. (Yes it's the same essay mentioned in chapter one. Remember it's still posted on fanfiction.net for your enjoyment!)  
  
"Seeing as both your essays got in the learning fair I guess I could make an exception." she said briskly, "Today we are taking the practice midterms!!"  
  
"I didn't know we had practice midterms..." Nick mused.  
  
"We don't, I thought it would be a good idea though..." yes extra work always came with my science teacher, "We have to finish early because after this we still have to take notes and do some handouts... we start the test at approximately 9:27"  
  
"Ms. Science Teacher, seeing as we have 10 minutes can we have a sing along?" Amanda asked. Wow Amanda sure had changed from the beginning of the year now not only did she scream SHUT UP in social studies, she asked far- fetched requests in science.  
  
"No."  
  
Alyssa and I sang "A pirates Life for me" anyways and Jack soon joined in.  
  
"I said no singing!" the teacher laughed; even though she could be strict she found the class quite amusing. She had once told us that we were her favorite class out of all the classes she had ever taught BECAUSE of our insaneness.  
  
"I know how about I break-dance!!!!" Declan yelled. He immediately started to do just that, "YOU GOT SERVED!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Declan was extremely obsessed with that movie; once at a dance assembly he was called up to break-dance , he beat everyone else then grabbed the microphone and screamed the same phrase he screamed above.  
  
"well that was intrestin'..." Jack remarked.  
  
"Test time!" the science teacher said.  
  
"1 2 3 4 5 6 7!" Every one in the class yelled. It was our test taking ritual...  
  
I looked down at the test, wait these weren't middle school questions!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"In case you're wondering this is the high school science regent's test. It will be counted as a full period test grade, of course I won't give you a full period though." The teacher sneered.  
  
In 15 minutes she collected the 150 question test, obviously no one was done. I took a glance at Jack's paper it said something like this-  
  
Question- Elucidate the respiratory system of the Chinese Cricket.  
  
Jack's answer- Why would I give a bloody damn thought on that?  
  
I wish I could be there to see the teacher's face when she reads that! After that the class was pretty boring. She gave us 13 handouts and we had to take 6 pages of notes.  
  
Finally class was over!!! I walked to Jack's desk to find him...well...asleep I couldn't blame him though.  
  
"Awwww Jack's so cute when he's asleep." I said. Alyssa groaned.  
  
"Is it possible for you to ever shut up?" She asked.  
  
"I've got a GREAT idea!" I exclaimed. I grabbed Amy's empty water bottle, "Fill that up at the "magic" water fountain!" I threw the water bottle at Alyssa. She soon came back with it full of ice cold water. "Heh heh heh this is going to be fun!" I poured the water on Jack's head.  
  
"WHAT THE BLOODY 'ELL!!!!" The pirate yelled.  
  
That was followed by some neurotic laughing on my part. --------------------------------------- Sorry if that chapter was boring, I had such bad writer's block it took me over an hour to write this chapter! Sad isn't it? Time for responses to reviews!   
  
Lonaargh- Thank you so much for the reviews! Oh and about lending you Jack, I'll think about it as long as you give him back! I suggest you keep him on a leash like I do; he has a horrible habit of running away, and all just because I was worshipping him, I mean I guess I can see how he was a little freaked out that I was offering that pigeon as a sacrifice for him...  
  
Anne Parkington- I agree, Jack would be totally out of character if he fell in love with a girl in middle school, don't worry he won't be doing that in this story! I am glad that you enjoy the story!  
  
KittenGaurdian- thanks for reviewing! I also want to thank you for putting my cat in your story! Well actually two of your stories! As thanks I will put you in my story! You will be in 2 chapters of this story!!!! Yay for you!!!  
  
StoryTellerJS- I am overjoyed that you thought it was funny! I hoped it would come out as funny and not a bunch of random nonsense!  
  
Master Lizard- YAY another person liked the story!!! Oh and about eating both of us up...that may not work out seeing as one of us has to author this story!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW AGAIN!!! AND IF YOU HAVEN'T REVIEWED BEFORE REVIEW! Oh and as a treat to reviewers, FREE Johnny Depp desktop backgrounds! (Made by me!) If you want them. They're not very good but they're the best I have! I will need to know you're email to send them to you. I'm either nice or I just want reviews. meowface 


	5. Chaos aka Lunch

Disclaimer- Ooooo oooo I know how about we play a game???? It's a guessing game!!!!! Ok which one of these statements true?  
  
A. I own Pirates of the Caribbean and all the characters and make billions of dollars.   
  
B. A huge company owns potc and the money.  
  
C. A hobo named Bob owns Pirates of the Caribbean and uses all the money to decorate his shopping cart.  
  
D. The flying cows own ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Answer key   
  
If you guessed…  
  
A.- You have skipped over all the disclaimers!  
  
B.- You are right. Unluckily.  
  
C.- Ha ha ha!!! How could you possibly pick number C???? That's ridiculous!!! Bob doesn't put the money on a shopping cart; he puts it on his black plastic bag.   
  
D. You're either Alyssa, me, or a crazy person!!! Wait actually the latter covers both of us…  
  
Also I want to have a song for each chapter! Ok this chapter's theme song is: Little Things by Good Charlotte, you'll see why later in this chapter! Here is a link to listen to it- um I don't own that website or the song or anything I just found the website online…  
  
Authors note- Whoa I'm sooooo sorry I haven't updated in such a long time!!!! Pirate!?! I actually have an excuse!!!! My computer broke down and we had to re-load everything on it!!!!!! Then my cousin came for a week and then another of my cousins came over after that. That's not all! Internet wasn't working for weeks! But alas not updating has made me feel the deepest guilt like a rain cloud always over my head its roaring thunder always a reminder of- ok ok I'll stop with the metaphors. Also the band Alyssa and I are in that was mentioned in chapter one has a new name. It used to be called Fire Ctz now it's Spontaneous Generation. Instead of drums I now play guitar and Alyssa plays guitar which is a problem because there is already a lead guitarist and there can't be more than two guitars in a band not counting bass guitar. Now we also need a bass guitarist a drummer and someone for lead vocals and I bet you really don't care about what I'm saying one bit do you??? You want to read the story don't you??? Ok fine, here it is.  
  
(Also I've noticed Jack has been a little out of character, he's way too quiet. )  
  
===============  
  
Chapter 5- Chaos aka lunch  
  
"Jack I'm sure you're going to love this next class!" I predicated.   
  
"Oh of course love, just like I relished running until my legs felt like they were going to fall off, or being hugged to death, or having to answer questions about a damn cricket!" he said sarcastically, complete with his peculiar hand movements.  
  
I just chuckled softly and as we made our way down the stairs. All of a sudden deafening noise filled our ears.   
  
"Welcome to the Tortuga of middle school… lunch." I announced.  
  
"THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!" Jack yelled. We all rushed into the cafeteria. Bad idea. Rushing isn't what you're supposed to in a place of that much chaos, going as slow as possible through the doors and looking as carefully as you can works, rushing simply does not. I ducked under a flying lunch tray, Alyssa jumped over a skate board which was rolling with a lot of momentum. Jack tripped over said skateboard and landed on top of a lunch aide's feet, the rest of her was under a table.   
  
"Yep this is lots like Tortuga." Jack said with a huge grin.  
  
"Git offa me." the lunch aide roared.  
  
"Just wonderin' watcha doin' under there?" the pirate captain inquired once he was on his feet again. I knew perfectly well what the lunch aide was doing… hiding, as were the other lunch aides.   
  
As we were walking to our table we were stopped by two kids who were boxing. They weren't fighting but actually just boxing.  
  
"Lemme help." I heard Jack mutter under his breath. Before I knew it I saw Jack's hand connect with the bigger kid's face.  
  
"Thanks!" the other boxer said appreciatively.  
  
"No problem." Jack bowed.  
  
"Hey, you can't do that! That was cheating!!!" a bystander screeched.  
  
"Just 'cause you bet George would win doesn't mean you have to be a sore loser. I believe you owe me some money" a second bystander replied.  
  
"I don't owe you a thing!" We left them quarreling and made our way to our table.  
  
"Not you." Alexandra groaned.  
  
"The one and only." I smirked. Did I mention that the people at our table didn't exactly appreciate us? Well it could be that I sort of made fun of their singing and was pretty much a nuisance as they put it. But I mean if you had them singing these old annoying classical songs every single day without a break you might be a little upset too.  
  
"Hi guys! Oooo you brought that person that you always obsess about too! Cool!" Gabby said. Gabby was the only one that didn't mind us.   
  
Alyssa rubbed her hands together and did a demented evil scientist walk. "BWA HA HA HA!!! BWA HA HA HA!!! He's all MINE!!!!!!!!!" she yelled. I coughed and gave her an incredulous look. "Ok he's yours too." she admitted.  
  
"They called us up to go on the lunch line already! What are you doing here?" one of the girls at our table glared at us, "Idiots." she whispered.  
  
Once we were on the lunch line I told Jack the lunch choices, "Ok we have deli, hot lunch, and pizza. For drinks there are the normal high fructose corn syrup flavored poisonous school drinks, Snapple, or my favorite; Slush Puppies!"  
  
"What's a Slush Puppy?' Jack inquired.   
  
"Only the greatest refreshment on earth!!!" Alyssa practically yelled. I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say that they were the best drink on earth but they were pretty good.  
  
"Better 'an rum?" Jack asked.  
  
"How should I know?" Alyssa said. Jack looked at her like she had just sprouted wings.  
  
Jack ended up getting a deli sandwich , Alyssa got pizza and I got spaghetti. Jack went over to the disgusting school drinks and I saw him open his flask. I knew he was up to no good. I have no idea why I didn't stop him at the time but I didn't. I led Jack over to the slush puppy machine where Alyssa was already getting hers.  
  
"I'll have cotton candy, Val what do you want?" Alyssa asked.  
  
"A piña colada." I said.  
  
"And you Jack?" Jack just stared at the long list of flavors.  
  
I decided I should answer for him, "Maybe blue raspberry?" I suggested. Jack nodded.  
  
Soon we finished lunch and were sitting around sipping our slush puppies .   
  
"Ahhhh!!!!! My head!!!!!!!!" Jack moaned. Alyssa laughed neurotically. I was extremely confused but then I realized that Jack had never had slush puppies, ice cream, or anything frozen for that matter! Therefore never experienced brain freeze and suddenly I found this very funny too and started to laugh.  
  
"Shut up we're gonna sing now!" One of the girls at our lunch table ordered. I groaned. A horrible sound emanated through the cafeteria as five girls started to sing.  
  
"Now it's my turn to kindly ask you to shut up." I growled. Cool I could growl I didn't know that. The girls just sneered. It would be a waste of my time arguing with them so I just put in a CD I had burned which had a mix of rock bands including Good Charlotte, Blink 182, Hoobestank, Lost Prophets, Greenday, and a few others.  
  
"What are you listening to?" one of the singers grabbed my CD player.  
  
"Rock? Are you a punk?" she said with disgust.   
  
I thought about this for a second and then answered. "I guess."   
  
"PUNKS SUCK!" She screamed and then threw my CD across the cafeteria where it hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces. Suddenly the once noisy cafeteria was quiet. Then all hell broke loose. Preps and punks where at each others throats and goths and skaters helped their friends.  
  
"That's interesting." was all Jack said as he dodged a flying pom-pom. For a reason unknown to me at the time the cafeteria became silent. I turned my head the other way. There was the reason standing in the doorway. The vice principal. The vice principal used to train with the Greenbay Packers he was huge and scary and he was walking towards me.  
  
"Did you start this?" he asked glaring down at me.  
  
I gulped. "Yes-no-sort of- um… no- uh…"  
  
"Come with me." he said and the singers started laughing. "You too. The whole table." he ordered and they stopped laughing.  
  
Soon we were in the vice principal's office. "Who started this?" the vice principal's cold glare stared at each of us in turn.  
  
"They did." the group of snotty girls pointed at Alyssa, Jack and I.  
  
"I didn't do anything! They're the ones that threw Val's CD at the wall." Alyssa answered.  
  
"Um… well… uh they said they didn't like our singing." Samantha protested.  
  
"I'm sorry but they're entitled to their own opinion. You may go now." he dismissed us. "Actually can the pirate wait." Jack walked towards the Vice Principal's desk and Alyssa and I hung out in the doorway.  
  
"Mr. Sparrow do you know that someone spiked the fruit punch? I have a feeling I know who did it…" the vice principal said. Jack winced.  
  
"Me? What makes you think that?" Jack answered innocently. The vice principal seemed to be considering what the pirate captain had said but then I saw Jack's flask was about to fall out of his binder, I caught it before it hit the ground and hoped Mr. vice principal/football player didn't see it.  
  
"Since you're new I'll believe you but don't expect me to normally let you off this easy. Also we have a rule here; no garment may be worn on the head unless it is for religious purposes." he indicated towards Jacks bandana. Jack gulped.  
  
"Um… it is a religious thingy. He's part of the…" I thought hard and the only thing I could think of was the music I had just listened to so I used band names, "The Charlotte-Hoobestank (cough) Green-Prophets-182-ism religion."  
  
"Oh." The huge vice principal thought this over. "Sounds reasonable… now git outta my office!"  
  
"Uh vice principle dude? Can I ask you something" Alyssa said, "Why did you let the girls that started the fight in the cafeteria leave without punishment?"  
  
"Well isn't it obvious? Their parents have a lot of money I could get sued!" the huge ex-football player cowered. So much for fair.  
  
===============  
  
So did you like it???? Now do you see why that song made sense for this chapter? REVIEW!!! Please? Reviews make me happy and make me update faster!!! Remember that… 


	6. Cuna Amigos

Disclaimer- I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean but I do own a Captain Jack Sparrow sticker!!! It says right on the receipt=  
  
Cptn Jack Sparrow stkr $2.00   
  
Yep that EXACT thing.  
  
Authors note- I finally have a quick update for you dudes!!!!! An extra long two period chapter with responses to reviews on the bottom!!! WOO HOO!!!! Also I found out the plot to POTC 2 by reading an unauthorized bio on Orlando Bloom (while looking for one on Johnny Depp) Ok so here's what it said (but remember it IS unauthorized and unauthorized biographies often aren't correct)-  
  
"Every one is getting ready for Will and Elizabeth's wedding, but a few days before their wedding Elizabeth is kidnapped! Of course everybody blames Jack Sparrow but Will. Will goes searching for the kidnapper and ends up finding Jack being held hostage on an island. Will has to fight a one eyed beast to get Jack free. Once Jack gains his freedom he and Will go searching for Elizabeth and her captor. They find out that the person behind everything is Bermuda Barbossa; Barbossa's daughter who is seeking revenge on Jack and Will. The climax of the movie is a sea battle involving a ship called The Black Pearl II."  
  
That's all the article said… OK THE STORY!!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 6- Cuna Amigos  
  
"Rock, paper, scissors, whoever wins gets to take Jack to their next class, okay?" Alyssa said.  
  
I nodded confidently.  
  
"Rock, paper, scissors and shoot!"   
  
I can't say I didn't cheat. I mean a deal about a pirate doesn't need to be honest since they're dishonest in the first place. Making an honest deal about something dishonest would be fraudulent and untruthful therefore being dishonest would be being honest. Consequently being right about something wrong or rather being wrong about something wrong came down to me being right, right? Wow I had been hanging around with Jack too long. Speaking of Jack I had to get back to the real world or rather the real world for me and the future for Jack which could also be the present for Jack at the moment and later be the past which still was in the future but- ah never mind. I grabbed Jack's arm and led him through the lower D-wing. We stopped at a room. Inside there were streamers hanging from the ceiling, huge stuffed animals and colorful murals on the walls it looked like a fiesta… and it was.  
  
"Spanish class." I explained to Jack. My Spanish teacher was the youngest teacher in the school; she was 22. She knew my brother since she went to the same high school and was one grade ahead of him and her brother was on the football team with him. Jack and I walked into the room taking random seats. My teacher had now put a load rock CD (in Spanish) on. I saw Declan grab a Spanish hat off one of the stuffed animals and sneak out of the room.  
  
"Today we will be doing two things  
  
1. Watching MTV  
  
2. Talking in Spanish  
  
OK?" the teacher said. For the first half of the period we watched a reality television show that took place in Spain that was on MTV. Halfway through the show a teacher came in our class dragging Declan in with her.  
  
"This yours? I found him dancing outside my class room singing a song in Italian that had only one word, the number 6 in Italian…" The teacher seemed thoroughly confused but we weren't. Declan always sang that song… he had wrote it himself… "Anyway keep him away from my room." The teacher concluded striding out of the classroom.  
  
"Ok now we talk in Spanish!" My Spanish teacher announced unfazed by the ordeal. "First I'm going to talk in Spanish. Mi programa favorito es South Park." Translation- My favorite television show is South Park. "No me gusta esa clase. Ustedes son locos y atrasados." Translation- I don't like this class. You are all crazy and retarded.  
  
"Hey did you just insult us?" Madison narrowed her eyes.  
  
"Very good!" the teacher praised.  
  
"Yeah!" Joey-Lynn high-fived her friend.  
  
"Ms. Teacher dude person did you notice it has been a week since Bob's death?" Steven asked. Bob was the ant that used to live on his desk it jumped off exactly a week ago… "It's not fair!!! He died so young!!!!"  
  
"Don't worry Steven I'll get you another ant!!!" the teacher consoled him.  
  
"There will NEVER be another Bob!!!!!!!" Steven wailed. "But Bob Junior would work…"  
  
"I'll get you Bob Junior then, ok?" she reassured him. "Oh and you can all go now!!!" It was two minutes early but she always let us out early.   
  
"Hey Val!" It was Dylan. "So when are we having another band meeting????????" Dylan said the same thing every day. "Also I wanted to know if you wanted to-"   
  
"For the last time Dylan I have a boyfriend!!!" Yes I do have a boyfriend his name is Garrett and I was extremely lucky he was in Florida when Jack came into the 21st century; he already growled when he heard the name Johnny Depp.  
  
"But-" Dylan tried to say but I cut him off.  
  
"But aren't you going out with Cassidy?"  
  
"OH YEAH" Dylan became incredibly cheerful after that, he loved Cassidy. I have no idea how anyone could forget they had a girlfriend (or boyfriend). Especially if that girl was Cassidy. Cassidy was one strange person. I met her at Alyssa's birthday party where she tied all of us up in toilet paper…..  
  
--- Next was art were there are two more of my strange friends…  
  
"YAY it's Val!!!!!!!!!" Laura yelled.  
  
"LETS CHOKE HER!!!!!!!" Lauren screamed.   
  
Then they both ran up to me and did just that until they noticed Jack and tackled him.  
  
"Johnny Depp!!! MUA HA HA HA!!!!" Lauren grinned impishly.  
  
"It's a dude!" Laura exclaimed.  
  
"No it's a supreme being." I stated. The art teacher told us to shut up and we did. But obviously she was being a little sarcastic because she ran over to Jack and hugged him, did I mention she was in her 50's?  
  
"I like to give everyone freedom and not treat this as a normal class so you can draw whatever you want today!" she announced. It was not uncommon for her to allow us to do that! Lauren, Laura and I gave each other tips on how to draw manga style and Jack drew violent stick figures. The art teacher noticed Jack's stick figures. "Have you ever thought about seeing a psychologist? They're very effective I hear!"  
  
---------------  
  
So did ya like it???  
  
What's real- This is something new I'm going to do in each chapter it says what's real about the chapter. My Spanish class does look like that, we do listen to music and watch MTV, my Spanish teacher did say those things in Spanish to us, Bob really did jump off Steven's desk, Cassidy did wrap us in toilet paper, Lauren and Laura did choke me, and the art teacher likes Johnny Depp and has been known for suggesting people to got to psychologists.   
  
Responses to reviews-  
  
KittenGuardian- You have been my most loyal reviewer!!!! Thanks sooooooooooo much!!! I'm in your debt.  
  
zeldagrl436- Thanks for the review glad you liked it!  
  
Person- lol! I did take your advice!!! I'm writing this REALLY late at night!  
  
CommodoreJewelz- Thanks! Jack in the 21st century is really fun to write because there are so many things you can make humorous, so many instances in which he could be really confused…   
  
PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW, IT MEANS A LOT!!!! I want to see that people are reading and that people who read before are still reading! 


	7. Padgur

Disclaimer- (dis-kla-mer) A denial or repudiation of a claim. Ex- I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean.  
  
A/N- I am terribly sorry for not updating but I DO have an excuse… I was on vacation in Europe!!! Hey, but I have two things that will make it up to you: the first being that we had to spend two days in London Heathrow airport because our flight got delayed. (I guess it was punishment for not telling you guys I was going on vacation.) The second thing is that this is going to be a pretty long chapter…  
  
-IMPOTANT PLEASE READ- After this chapter there are going to be two more chapters of this fic. Then I'm going to have a deleted/alternate scenes chapter, which has extra stuff that wasn't included in the story. (Like a segment of the story that I meant to put in the third chapter that includes the reason why it's called "ooo a prettifull cockroach". ) Following that there is a details page that has the descriptions of characters I forgot to describe. (Such as Alyssa and myself.) Also a bonus field trip chapter and a sports day chapter! And after that comes the sequel; Pirates of Summer Break. I really can't wait to write it! Also watch out for two other stories by me; POTC in history- a story which explains where characters, places, and events in POTC might have come from history. The other story is a fic that's untitled as of yet, its and action/adventure/drama story, (Jack/Anamaria Will/Elizabeth pairings) –  
  
Song- No Rain by blind melon. The song really explains Mr. Padgur, Alyssa and I. -  
Chapter 7- Padgur  
  
Next was my favorite period; English. Mr. Padgur is a BRILLIANT teacher, maybe more than a little insane, but still brilliant. He was only 24 and not our actual teacher but a permanent sub. While he was in college he was on the college baseball team and almost made it to playing professional baseball but had to stop when he dislocated his shoulder. So now he was teaching, coaching high school baseball, softball, and football, working for a soda company at night, getting ready for his wedding, and working on his house. But he still had the time to make our classes interesting. His teaching methods were defiantly different than most other teachers. Like when we first met him he had us take a quiz (which didn't count) about him. And when we asked how he got hurt in baseball he drew us a diagram of the field and were all the players were.  
  
I walked into the classroom where I took my seat next to Alyssa and Jack took the vacant seat behind us. Mr. Padgur soon came waltzing into the classroom… singing Jenny from the Block… He had brown hair which was spiked in the front (I guess they call that the flip hairstyle, but I'm not sure.) He was a little taller thank Jack and he wore a black hooded sweatshirt and cargo jeans with a chain on them, a cell phone and a pair of sunglasses were tucked in his belt. He flopped down on his chair and put his feet up on his desk. His desk was so covered with random objects that you couldn't see the bottom of it. Immediately bunch of students surrounded him. Amy and her friends always said that they hated him but I started to not believe that as they were always talking to him.  
  
"OK guys! We have lots to do today! First off I'm supposed to give you a spelling test every week." Everybody groaned. "But they didn't ever say it had to count as a test grade did they?" Mr. Padgur gave an impish grin which went well with the ever present mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "OK so is everyone ready for the spelling test?"  
  
"Does spelling count?' Brittany asked.  
  
"Boy that was a stupid question!" Declan exclaimed.  
  
"Declan, there is no such thing as a stupid question only stupid people." Mr. Padgur explained. Declan laughed. "Ok word 1- misjudge."  
  
"Can you give me a sentence for the word?" Declan asked.  
  
"Don't misjudge Declan for being a smart kid."  
  
"Wait did you just say I'm smart or dumb."  
  
"How do you spell that?" Rose Mary inquired.  
  
"M-Y-Z-Q-niner." The teacher answered. "Word 2- Escapee, John is an escapee from the mental hospital." He waited a few moments then said, "Word 3- unpopular, the Mets are and unpopular team."  
  
"Hey!" Mike yelled.  
  
"What, Squirrel?" Mr. Padgur also like to call his students by there nick names.  
  
"The Mets aren't unpopular… I like them!"  
  
"You're a loser." Mr. Padgur stated.  
  
After the "spelling test" was done we had to finish presenting our biography projects. The only person left to present theirs was Stephanie; who was completely embarrassed by her Cleopatra costume. "Please guys, please don't laugh." She begged. Her cheeks were bright red with embarrassment.  
  
"Ah too bad I don't have my camera with me." Mr. Padgur said glumly. But soon a demonic look flashed across his eyes. "Oh wait I do! " He laughed and pulled out his digital camera and started snapping pictures while Stephanie shrieked… which soon turned into laughing. It wasn't uncommon for Mr. Padgur to do extremely audacious things like that. I remembered our important assembly in front of the school and the presidents of the local animal shelter. We couldn't here the principle talk because the whole auditorium was aloud with something that sounded like explosions coming right after one another. I had looked over to the stage were sure enough Mr. Padgur was sitting, tapping a microphone.  
  
I was stirred out of my thoughts by something hard hitting the back of my head, an eraser. I turned around and saw Jack grinning. "You were jus' starin' at the wall. So I thought I should wake ye up!" I rolled my eyes. Couldn't he just of tapped me on the back or something.  
  
I turned my attention to the front of the room where Mr. Padgur was now sitting on a table swinging his legs with a cart of books next to him. "As you all know we have to do an animal porqui story."  
  
"What's a porqui story?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"A poem in Native American."  
  
"Really?'  
  
"Yes."  
  
"COOL!!!"  
  
"I was lying." Mr. padgur answered. As soon as Stephanie turned her back Mr. Padgur made the loser sign.  
  
"MR. PADGUR!" practically the whole class yelled.  
  
"What? I was just making the number seven!" Mr. Padgur turned his hand upside down. Everyone then started playing with there fingers. "Hey Amy, you were trying to get me to hold up the wrong finger!"  
  
After that we started to actually do research. "Hey, Val come over here. Look at this picture of this monkey, it has a red face… it's a devil monkey!!!!" Mr. Padgur exclaimed. "Stephanie should use this as her animal it's just like her!"  
  
After research Mr. Padgur asked Declan to write his name on the bored. "Why? I didn't do anything!!!" Declan whined as he wrote his name in his incredibly sloppy handwriting.  
  
"Good now write that with your other hand." Mr. Padgur instructed. Declan did and it was much neater. "Congratulations Declan, you are now a lefty!"  
  
"But how do I know which one's left?" Declan asked.  
  
"HA HA! Isn't it obvious? Do what I do!" Mr. Padgur pulled up his sleeves where there was an R on one wrist and an L on the other. He tossed Declan a permanent marker.  
  
"Thanks dude!"  
  
"Any time, man."  
  
"Smart guy..." Jack observed. "I gotta try that…" I gave him a light back hand. "Hey! What was that for?"  
  
"For being you Jack." I answered dryly.  
  
Soon it was break. Since English is a double period we get break in the middle of it.  
  
"Hey Val, Alyssa, since you good at computers and stuff can you help me out with my wedding site? I started it with that website you showed me. It's a lot better than the program I used to use... it sucked… kind of like how word pad is, it comes out with all these weird symbols like in the matrix or something…. I think all word pads should BURN!!! Anyway, so can you help me?" Mr. Padgur asked. As Megan walked by the computer Mr. Padgur growled at her and hugged the computer screen so she couldn't see.  
  
"Um to help you we need to see the computer." Alyssa commented.  
  
"Oh right…"  
  
We soon helped Mr. Padgur out. "Thanks guys now I feel all like some kinda super techno computer whiz or something…" He said as he walked out the door and to the teacher's lounge.  
  
Alyssa, Jack and I were the only ones left in the room. Jack stared up at the many posters in the room (some had curses on them) all hung in places you wouldn't think to look. Mr. Padgur had down that purposely because the other teacher who shared the room had once given the room a makeover taking down all his stuff and putting up flowered things, so he kept his stuff in places she wouldn't look.  
  
Next we walked over to his desk. 3 two liter bottles of Pepsi were on one side of his desk. (That's part of the reason he's always so energetic.) And –GASP- a glass labeled- Queen Anne's finest Ale.  
  
Soon we heard the teacher next door yelling at someone for how they were dressed… OH GOD! Mr. Padgur must be back "Ok just curious… what are you doing." He asked.  
  
"Uh… tell you the truth we have no idea!" I said as we half ran out the classroom.  
  
We soon were back at the classroom the door was closed and Declan was beside it. I looked through the window on the door to see Mr. Padgur leaning against it. Oh great he's locked us out. Declan rammed in to the door. After a long time Mr. Padgur opened the door.  
  
"Point and laugh at them everyone!!!" Mr. Padgur said and everyone did. "Declan… dude you broke my door…"  
  
Next we had to read a true story about astronauts. After the "holey moley it's a piece of cake" line. Mr Padgur gave up.  
  
"Who wants to change the subject?" he asked. So for a while we talked about scooba diving and than about dreams…  
  
"Ok today we're also supposed to do a project on character education! So I thought why don't we make it fun? Because of Val and Alyssa we will learn about Johnny Depp! We will watch a few clips of a few different movies of his. But what goes better with movie than… SNACKS!" Mr. Padgur went to the teachers room and came back with ice cream bars and pixie sticks. "The pixie sticks are so we can get sugar high… You look excited about that Alyssa" Mr Padgur then stuffed half of the ice cream bar in his mouth.  
  
"How did you do that?" Megan asked.  
  
Mr. Padgur shrugged, "I haven't eaten all day…"  
  
The segments of Johnny Depp movies where extremely entertaining… though some were rated higher than we should be able to see.  
  
"You're a teacher though, your supposed to talk about how your such a good role model!" Amy said.  
  
"Well I wasn't a good kid… I was so bad my parents took down my door… oh and I'm still invited to high school parties… I guess being a bad kid runs in the family, my dad once planted bulbs for the nun's garden upside down so they wouldn't come up… and he once got a teacher so mad at him that they hit him with a ruler… he still had the dent in his head!"  
  
"That explains a lot…" I muttered. For the rest of the period Mr. Padgur told us disgusting fast food facts, then we had a debate about soda machines in school (Mr. Padgur was for them), and we played a spelling game!  
  
Ah English, a fine subject…  
  
What's true- Everything! (Except the stuff about Jack.) Everything that Mr. Padgur said and did is completely his… I didn't add anything to it! He actually did and said all that!!!  
  
A/N- next comes the English bonus chappy, then the math one then the deleted scenes, after that the field trip chapter, then the sports day one, and the description one… THEN Pirates of Summer Break! Please review it took me 3 and a half hours to write so the least you could do is review…. Responses to reviews-  
Amitee- lol thanks!!! xxpink- thank you.. another person who thinks I'm like them? This is getting kinda spooky!  
  
wierdkendogirl- I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Warriormaid 3000- whoa that DOES sound like my school! NOW I'm REALLY SCARED!!! 3 people who are like me!?!  
  
KittenGaurdian- Here have a virtual suger cube for being my most frequent reviewer! 


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